Who is fooling who?

I have always wondered whether a blonde actually knows she’s blonde. I am not talking about the features that get her constant attention and drooling. No, I mean is she alive to the fact that she’s literally blonde and I’m not talking about the colour of her hair. In my musings, I also wonder whether a monkey knows it’s a monkey. Our politicians constantly drive me to such thoughts. But if a blonde knows she’s blonde and a monkey knows it’s a monkey, does that mean Kenyan politicians know what they really are?

When he spoke out on the issue of taxation, the Speaker assured us that his charges were not going to pay any taxes. His authority on the subject drew from the fact that they (of the blonde, monkey analogy) had signed an MOU with Mr. President. The MOU was to the effect that the provisions of the Constitution relating to taxation were not to apply to the current Parliament. Anyone who has been around this country long enough knows the history of the President and honouring of MOUs. It’s akin to hope for peace and stability in Somalia. Non existent. The man has not even uttered a word on the subject as they engage in their shenanigans.  If the speaker had appeared in public in the nude, it would have been less damaging to his character than having him latch on to such an agreement.

 

As they go to and fro on whether they will pay their taxes or not though, some have gone ahead and settled their debt. Kind of reminds me of the one student who never saw the need to be in school, there’s always one of those in every school. This malingerer went around recruiting others into his ranks. He convinced them that there was no need to pay attention in class or study. As the exams approached, his followers dwindled but the foolish ones stuck by his side. Unfortunately when the exams came each fool died his own death and needless to say most failed miserably. As they shout from the rooftops these clowns had better be advised that no ones property will be auctioned for the groups benefit.  

Here are a few truths; this lot seem not to be aware of:

1. The Constitution is a worse dictator than Gaddafi, Ben Ali and Mubarak combined. It gives no room for competition or detraction. They should tear up that little MOU they are touting about town because it stands no chance.
2. The Constitution clearly provides that all Kenyans who draw a taxable income shall subject themselves humbly to the whims of Mr Waweru. No one shall be exempted by virtue of the office they hold.
3. Mercifully, the Constitution establishes a Commission to determine the salaries to be paid out to this miserable lot. They should be begging for Kenyans forgiveness for blackmailing them that the only way they will pay taxes is if they implement the Akiwumi report. The damn report can sit in the archives and collect dust for all we care unless the Salaries and Remuneration Commission dictates otherwise.
4. Should they live up to their threat to go slow on the enactment of the Constitution, the self-destructive being that is the Constitution will have them shuttling their overstuffed stomachs back to the electorate. Who I may add are a hungry and immensely dissatisfied lot.

The clowns seem to be totally oblivious to the fact that next year is an election year and Kenyans are tired of their perpetual bullshit. If paying taxes were a choice, no one would ever do it. Like one Charity Ngilu, the Mwananchi too has mortgages to service. They should all queue up at Times Towers or take the advice of Arap Samoie and send their messengers to pay their taxes.  Alternatively they can go back to the people for a verdict. Like the clown on duty pointed out, “the people of Makadara have the votes”. I guess that applies to Kenyans elsewhere too.